Mr. Simon and his crazy thoughts

4:13am: Life sucks..
Why wont it leave me alone?

I try each and every day God sends to try and fix it but I can't.
All that happens is it gets worse!

The past few weeks have been seriously sucky.

I'm sick and tired of living behind this stupid façade. It's really getting on my last nerve.
I've been laying in bed trying to fight it but it wont.

Why wont the past just move on and stop haunting me? Everything these days just keeps on bringing it up. ALL THE BLOODY TIME!

Once a month or so I could cope with. But weekly? Even daily? I can't live like this.

I hate repeats. Even watching them on TV is annoying. But when they happen in your own life, when everything just repeats itself. Stuff from the past. Stuff you'd beat yourself up until you'd forgotten it. It still comes back.

I've been trying to take comfort in small things that remind me of who I am. Where I came from and how happy I once was. Living in blissful ignorance. Perched happily in Mr. Simon land where everything that happened outside of it never got in. I'm 21 now. Mr. Simon land got invaded and taken over. It's now a trendy wine bar!

I feel so down lately and I can't think of any way that would fix it.

I reakon I could probably fix the whole situation out on Monday with a few carefuly placed phone calls and an email or two. Monday is still two whole days away though! A lot can change in two days...

I think this pretty much sums up how I'm feeling at the moment:

I feel so extraordinary
Something's got a hold on me
I get this feeling I'm in motion
A sudden sense of liberty
I don't care 'cause I'm not there
And I don't care if I'm here tomorrow
Again and again I've taken too much
Of the things that cost you too much
I used to think that the day would never come
I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun
My morning sun is the drug that brings me near
To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear
I used to think that the day would never come
That my life would depend on the morning sun...

When I was a very small boy,
Very small boys talked to me
Now that we've grown up together
They're afraid of what they see
That's the price that we all pay
Our valued destiny comes to nothing
I can't tell you where we're going
I guess there was just no way of knowing
I used to think that the day would never come
I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun
My morning sun is the drug that brings me near
To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear
I used to think that the day would never come
That my life would depend on the morning sun...

I feel so extraordinary
Something's got a hold on me
I get this feeling I'm in motion
A sudden sense of liberty
The chances are we've gone too far
You took my time and you took my money
Now I fear you've left me standing
In a world that's so demanding
I used to think that the day would never come
I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun
My morning sun is the drug that brings me near
To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear
I used to think that the day would never come
That my life would depend on the morning sun...

I hate feeling so Emo. It's been a helluva long time since I last felt this bad. I keep telling myself it will be all ok and that everything will get sorted. How can I lie to myself when I'm the one who has to sort it?

Gwarsh!

Anyway, Dad wants me to meet this new one he's seeing or, more commonly known in my house as "V2".

I don't particularly feel up to it at the moment. I have too much on my plate to deal with him and her as well.

Anyway. I apologise for the long boring somewhat incoherent entry.
I guess I'll go and try to sleep again or something.

See you in the funny pages!

2:14am: Molesting my roots...
I was watching a program on The Hits earlier that was playing the best songs from the 1980's and it reminded me how much I missed listening to the tunes I grew up listening to.

You know how certain songs trigger certain memories? Well it's happening a lot to me this evening.
I'm remembering all kinds of stuff from my childhood. All of which are linked to particular songs!

I'd forgotten how great music was back then.

Anyway, all that aside. I've had a pretty slow and uneventful day.
Dad came over for a few hours then left.
He wants to go to see "The Departed" with me later in the week.
Should be OK. I love Martin Scorsese's films (particularly Goodfellas), plus you can't beat a film with Jack Nicholson in. Can you?

My cold is clearing up a bit. I'm just feeling really drowsey all the time and my throat is all blocked up :(

I went to bed at stupid o'clock last night; which resulted in me waking up at even stupider o'clock.
Sleep pattern is gonna be screwed again.
Seriously need to sort this out!

I blame you *points*

Anyway. I've now run out of things to say so I'm gonna submit this now and go play on the playstation or something.

As you were!
That is all.

5:36pm: Saturdays are sooo boring.
I went to bed a bit too late last night. Woke up at 1pm :(

The cold is getting worse. I HATE BEING ILL!
Lemsip works wonders... I've gotta stop raving on about Lemsip, haven't I?

Me and my sister got bored this afternoon so I went out and rented Scary Movie 4. It's nothing like it should be. It looks like they've run out of comedy to use. I think this should be the last one. No more please thanks.

So the football is on. England are drawing Nill Nill approaching half time.

I'm sooooo bored.

I feel so irritable today. Im not in the mood to do anything, talk to anyone or go anywhere.

I dug out my old Playstation 1 the other day and have been playing on Crash Bandicoot a lot. I'd forgotten how easy it was :P 2-3 days playing and I've almost completed it again.

Anyway I'm off to go be bored somewhere.

As you were.

1:35am: Doped up on Lemsip...
...and I still feel like death.

It's getting worse. I hate being ill.

So I had something I wanted to write about that happened today, but I forgot what it was...

You'll have to forgive me, I'm blonde.

I really want to go to sleep right now. Lemsip makes Mr. Simon's sleepy.

I think I'm gonna drink this up then head on off to bed.

Blackcurrent and Apple BLEUGH!
I ran out of Lemon and Honey :(

10:20am: Morning
So I managed to drag myself up this morning.
Straight away first time actually. Alarm went off, I got out of bed and didn't get back in it!

Have just returned from my meeting which didn't last as long as I was expecting it to. I'm fed up with people pronouncing my surname wrong though :(

You'd think after 21 years you'd learn to just ignore it, but it still irritates me.

On the way there there was a middle eastern chap sat behind me on the phone (they're ALWAYS on the phone!) chatting away to the person on the other end. I swear I heard him say "Durka Durka"!

I must apologise for the shortness of this mornings entry. It's only 10.30am and I've only been up for two and a half hours.

Perhaps more will happen in the day? Who can tell?
Should the unlikely occour I will keep you updated :)

That is all! As you were.

11:53pm: Still feel like crap.
So I have a meeting tomorow at 9.40am and I am not in the least bit tired. It wont take long to get there so I can afford to get up an hour later than I normally would, but going by my track record this week I haven't been doing so good in the mornings.

So as the title suggests I'm still ill and getting worse.
I feel dreadful and really lethargic.
I need to get me some lemsip cocoon myself in my duvet and sweat it out.

Syptoms:
*Coughing
*Bunged up
*Abnormaly warm
*Lump in throat

So this is my first entry to be taken from my LJ and posted on Moro...Habbo Forum eh?

Sounds fun.

I've been chuckling to myself over the fact people are protesting staff journals being posted. They're mainly coming from the people who HAVE to read EVERY single post and thread made in order to feel cool and superiour by knowing every little detail about the forum, where each thread and post is and how many reputation or infraction points every user has. Just because it appears in the New Posts section you don't instantly have to read it, you know?

Nobody is saying you have to read these, guys. Take a break once in a while. The world is a beautiful place. Go see it!

So I've been off the forum for the last two weeks. I bet you're just dying to know why, aren't you?

Tough! Those details are saved for my Friend entries. :P

Anyway, I'm off to drug myself up with Lemon and Honey Lemsip and some red and yellow pill that apparently helps cold and flu symptoms.

Later days.

11:58am: liveJOURNALism